I am writing this post to honor goddess day, and also to further share my experiences with the Elemental Spirits. I am an Elementalist, and an animist. I believe in all deities, but I don't worship any of them.
My spiritual path is that of an Elemental Priest of Wind. For an Elementalist, there is no book and there is no church. There are, however, the Elemental Spirits to inspire and guide us as we unravel the mystery of what this world is, and why we're here. This path is largely intuitive, and at around a year into my path, with no structure to compare myself to, I was worried that I wasn't good enough... that I wasn't progressing fast enough.
At this particular point in my life, I was also financially struggling, and had virtually no material stability at all. I was only sustained by the love, generosity, and patience of my friends, and my ability to use my guitar to make money on the sidewalk. This set of circumstances led to deep cycles of depression and self loathing, as I felt like an anchor and a hindrance to those who loved me.
I've made my initial contact with the Elemental Spirits through mirror rituals, and was spending some time in a mirror meditation while focusing on the specific spirit of the Phoenix. As in the traditional perception of The Phoenix, this spirit teaches about healing, rejuvenation, and rebirth.
I remember the doubt and uncertainty that I was going through at the time, and in this meditation, I really needed some validation of my progress, and I asked Phoenix if I was doing well. In all of the rituals I had done, this was unique, but instead of looking into it, I was immediately compelled to place the mirror above my head, at my high crown chakra. I did so, and my crown chakra opened... I suppose like a flower. The energy that came through the mirror and into my body was perhaps the strongest that I've ever felt. It came in through the top of my head, and made my entire body hum. The distinct impression that I got was that the great goddess, or the great mother of creation, was holding me in her hand, looking at me in awe. The great goddess was in awe of me. There truly are no words to describe what that felt like. The energy was so humbling and powerful that I cried. For 5 or 10 minutes, I sat with the mirror over my head, crying like a baby as the most powerful, unconditional love ran through me like a river and washed away my doubt. Afterwards,I no longer doubted myself, and truly felt like a new person. This was the most emotionally healing energy that I've ever felt, and one of the most profound experiences of my life.
Later on, I was speaking of The Phoenix with a co-worker, and she mentioned that The Phoenix is know for it's healing tears. I had not heard about that aspect of The Phoenix before, but it made so much sense to me in retrospect.
Although I had never attached any masculine or feminine energy to it before that experience, now when I think of feminine divine, and goddess energy, I always think of The Phoenix.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Hell
I would like to share my understanding of the vibration we have come to call Hell. I will also share my experience that led to this understanding, since before these experiences, all I had to go by was what I picked up from movies, and vague references made by my grandmother.
From what I currently understand, Hell is a place where people go after death(and sometimes before) to learn something they didn't get to learn during their life on Earth. I believe that Hell is as big and diverse as this universe. Some parts are nice, some are not.
When large groups of people have the same lesson to learn, or are going through the same thing, their spirits collect. This is a basic energy principle, commonly expressed as 'like attracts like.' It is this collection of consciousness that gives Hell form and stability. Honestly, I believe Earth works in a similar fashion.
Because of this, and the range of lessons we learn, Hell is a very diverse place. In my reckoning, it's not necessarily a bad place, but it's definitely a bad place to get lost.
In my experience, a spirit's time in Hell is NOT eternal. Spirits go there to learn something. Once that lesson is learned, they go to a different place to learn and experience something else. That said, I'm not sure how the perception of time works there, but I believe it's different than the linear perception we have on this world.
The vast majority of my experience and current understanding of Hell came to me through a series of intense dreams and meditations. One of my dearest, truest friends had died of pancreatic cancer when he was 38 years old. When we were younger, I had repeatedly stated how I would do anything for my friends. "I would follow you to the depths of Hell", was something I remember saying to all of my close friends, usually with a bottle of malt liquor in my hand. In retrospect, that was the ultimate fool's boast, spoken out of both ignorance and love. I had no idea at the time, that it could, and would come true...
About a month after my friend died, I dreamed of being a dishwasher at a restaurant that I worked at between the ages of 12 and 16. In the dream, I was in my 30's and still there. I remember feeling how pointless life was, and I turned away from the sink full of dishes, held my hands up to my face, and one by one I began biting off my fingers. Without pain or blood, I bit through the bone and spit my fingers out onto the floor. When I only had 2 fingers left, I realized that I wouldn't be able to play the saxophone or the guitar. I realized how I had just destroyed my potential and regret washed over me. With this feeling of regret, I woke up. The dream was very intense, and I sat there on the couch I was sleeping on at the time. After a moment of confused contemplation, I went back to sleep.
When I began dreaming again, that's when I met my dear friend. He was taller, and more beautiful than when he was here on earth. I think it was what he would have looked like if he was untouched by disease.
We met in a room that was full of beautiful young women. The women were chained at the wrist and shackled to a ceiling that I couldn't see. They were mostly naked, but they had transparent veils draped around their waists. It was understood that they were there specifically so people walking through the room could have their way with them. They all looked about the same, without any specific personality of their own. All of them that I saw were fair skinned with long black hair. The interesting thing was, they didn't seem to care what was happening to them. My friend was standing amongst them, unshackled, and normally clothed. (I believe he was wearing a cape)
I knew that place was Hell.
My friend acknowledged my presence. It strikes me as odd now, how there wasn't a moment of joy, or any sort of embrace at seeing him.
I said to him, "You're in Hell."
Without shame, he shrugged as if to say "It is what it is... this is where I am."
It should be noted that I remember saying words to him, and hearing my own voice, but I don't remember ever hearing his voice. His communication was unspoken, but totally understood. The whole place worked like that. Without specifically hearing anyone explain things, I just knew what was happening. I didn't stay in that room for long, and my friend didn't follow. That room seemed to be a place of apathy, not suffering. I suppose it could be argued that apathy is suffering, but I will continue my story. What happened next leads me to saying that Hell is a bad place to get lost.
I walked out of that room and began exploring what appeared to be a gigantic mental institution. I don't know how big it really was, but it was basically a world unto itself, and it was made of absolute madness and chaos. I understood that I was in an asylum run by the inmates. Normal rules did not apply here, and the chain of command was of ultimate corruption. In this place, child molesters were put in charge of children, and any that would abuse power were given that power.
There were little uniformed 'security guards' with batons and helmets. They wore grey jumpsuits and shiny black helmets with shaded visors, so their faces were obscured. The guards were really bullies that picked people out, ganged up on them, and relentlessly beat them. I watched as they picked a woman, dressed in a hospital gown as she walked down a hallway. They surrounded her and started beating her with their batons. This went on for a long moment. Suddenly the woman grew, and transformed into a giant, 15 or 20 feet tall. The guards now fit easily into her hands, and one by one, she grabbed them and bit off the tops of their heads, helmets and all. She would spit out the top of the skull, leaving an exposed half head, and throw the body down the hall.
At this point, the vibration got too intense for me, and I woke up.
I've contemplated this dream for about a year now. What really strikes me about this vibration, is that as soon as I cared about something, I was transported out. I believe I was there to show my friend how to move on. All he had to do was care.
As far as the chaotic mental hospital goes, that must have been a place for people who abused power in life, and maybe for people who allowed themselves to be abused, to play out extreme scenarios until they cared about either their victims or their tormentors. Nothing is eternal, and I believe all of the spirits in that place figure it out eventually...
I've met my friend in his pure form 3 times in dreams, and he's been in a different place every time. In one dream, we fought each other in my old high school.(a true representation of Hell)
The last time we met, he showed me that what really holds me back in life is that I'm afraid of success. In the dream, he literally taught me to fly.
This all leads me to believe that the places we go after death are constantly changing, depending on what we have figured out about ourselves. I also believe that eventually we work our way back here to Earth to live and die again. If so, I hope my friend and I meet again in another life, and hopefully, we can retain what we learned this time.
From what I currently understand, Hell is a place where people go after death(and sometimes before) to learn something they didn't get to learn during their life on Earth. I believe that Hell is as big and diverse as this universe. Some parts are nice, some are not.
When large groups of people have the same lesson to learn, or are going through the same thing, their spirits collect. This is a basic energy principle, commonly expressed as 'like attracts like.' It is this collection of consciousness that gives Hell form and stability. Honestly, I believe Earth works in a similar fashion.
Because of this, and the range of lessons we learn, Hell is a very diverse place. In my reckoning, it's not necessarily a bad place, but it's definitely a bad place to get lost.
In my experience, a spirit's time in Hell is NOT eternal. Spirits go there to learn something. Once that lesson is learned, they go to a different place to learn and experience something else. That said, I'm not sure how the perception of time works there, but I believe it's different than the linear perception we have on this world.
The vast majority of my experience and current understanding of Hell came to me through a series of intense dreams and meditations. One of my dearest, truest friends had died of pancreatic cancer when he was 38 years old. When we were younger, I had repeatedly stated how I would do anything for my friends. "I would follow you to the depths of Hell", was something I remember saying to all of my close friends, usually with a bottle of malt liquor in my hand. In retrospect, that was the ultimate fool's boast, spoken out of both ignorance and love. I had no idea at the time, that it could, and would come true...
About a month after my friend died, I dreamed of being a dishwasher at a restaurant that I worked at between the ages of 12 and 16. In the dream, I was in my 30's and still there. I remember feeling how pointless life was, and I turned away from the sink full of dishes, held my hands up to my face, and one by one I began biting off my fingers. Without pain or blood, I bit through the bone and spit my fingers out onto the floor. When I only had 2 fingers left, I realized that I wouldn't be able to play the saxophone or the guitar. I realized how I had just destroyed my potential and regret washed over me. With this feeling of regret, I woke up. The dream was very intense, and I sat there on the couch I was sleeping on at the time. After a moment of confused contemplation, I went back to sleep.
When I began dreaming again, that's when I met my dear friend. He was taller, and more beautiful than when he was here on earth. I think it was what he would have looked like if he was untouched by disease.
We met in a room that was full of beautiful young women. The women were chained at the wrist and shackled to a ceiling that I couldn't see. They were mostly naked, but they had transparent veils draped around their waists. It was understood that they were there specifically so people walking through the room could have their way with them. They all looked about the same, without any specific personality of their own. All of them that I saw were fair skinned with long black hair. The interesting thing was, they didn't seem to care what was happening to them. My friend was standing amongst them, unshackled, and normally clothed. (I believe he was wearing a cape)
I knew that place was Hell.
My friend acknowledged my presence. It strikes me as odd now, how there wasn't a moment of joy, or any sort of embrace at seeing him.
I said to him, "You're in Hell."
Without shame, he shrugged as if to say "It is what it is... this is where I am."
It should be noted that I remember saying words to him, and hearing my own voice, but I don't remember ever hearing his voice. His communication was unspoken, but totally understood. The whole place worked like that. Without specifically hearing anyone explain things, I just knew what was happening. I didn't stay in that room for long, and my friend didn't follow. That room seemed to be a place of apathy, not suffering. I suppose it could be argued that apathy is suffering, but I will continue my story. What happened next leads me to saying that Hell is a bad place to get lost.
I walked out of that room and began exploring what appeared to be a gigantic mental institution. I don't know how big it really was, but it was basically a world unto itself, and it was made of absolute madness and chaos. I understood that I was in an asylum run by the inmates. Normal rules did not apply here, and the chain of command was of ultimate corruption. In this place, child molesters were put in charge of children, and any that would abuse power were given that power.
There were little uniformed 'security guards' with batons and helmets. They wore grey jumpsuits and shiny black helmets with shaded visors, so their faces were obscured. The guards were really bullies that picked people out, ganged up on them, and relentlessly beat them. I watched as they picked a woman, dressed in a hospital gown as she walked down a hallway. They surrounded her and started beating her with their batons. This went on for a long moment. Suddenly the woman grew, and transformed into a giant, 15 or 20 feet tall. The guards now fit easily into her hands, and one by one, she grabbed them and bit off the tops of their heads, helmets and all. She would spit out the top of the skull, leaving an exposed half head, and throw the body down the hall.
At this point, the vibration got too intense for me, and I woke up.
I've contemplated this dream for about a year now. What really strikes me about this vibration, is that as soon as I cared about something, I was transported out. I believe I was there to show my friend how to move on. All he had to do was care.
As far as the chaotic mental hospital goes, that must have been a place for people who abused power in life, and maybe for people who allowed themselves to be abused, to play out extreme scenarios until they cared about either their victims or their tormentors. Nothing is eternal, and I believe all of the spirits in that place figure it out eventually...
I've met my friend in his pure form 3 times in dreams, and he's been in a different place every time. In one dream, we fought each other in my old high school.(a true representation of Hell)
The last time we met, he showed me that what really holds me back in life is that I'm afraid of success. In the dream, he literally taught me to fly.
This all leads me to believe that the places we go after death are constantly changing, depending on what we have figured out about ourselves. I also believe that eventually we work our way back here to Earth to live and die again. If so, I hope my friend and I meet again in another life, and hopefully, we can retain what we learned this time.
Monday, December 2, 2013
The Chariot and the Two of Disks : Breaking the routine
Sometimes, when we feel stuck in life, the most powerful thing we can do is change our daily routine.
By default, we are creatures of habit, and patterns can be difficult to break from.
In my life, my sleeping pattern is the toughest to break, and it has always been a strange one. My natural rhythm would have me waking up sometime in the afternoon, and staying up until about 6 a.m. I have recently felt in a rut, and my way of breaking it is to change how I sleep. I have never in my life been a morning person, but for the last week I have woken up before sunrise. I hate alarm clocks, and clocks in general, and I'm not using one. I have been proud of my body, as it has naturally gotten me up between 4:30 and 5:30 every day for a week. I have been taking a nap in the afternoon, and I've been impressed at the clarity of my dreams during that time.
To reset my pattern, I put my schedule into absolute chaos for a few days, staying up as long as I could(24 plus hours). I would follow that by sleeping until I naturally woke up.
The tarot equivalent to this method would be The Chariot. Create your own chaos, so you have a reason to take control.
If we want something to change in our environment, it is important that we change something in ourselves, and in our daily routine to reflect and welcome the change that we want to see. I am trying to become a more successful Tarot reader, artist, and musician, and I have been pleased with the inspiration of the sunrise.(which had been totally foreign to me)
Taking trips or vacations is a perfect way to get your body ready for a change. As you travel, your routine is automatically thrown into chaos. Being in another surrounding also gives a new perspective, which is also fertilizer for life change. During any trip, there are multiple opportunities for letting go of harmful connections, and things at home that bog you down. Upon returning from a trip, the daily pattern will have been broken and you will see your home with a fresh perspective. Changes to your routine will be much easier to make.
Whatever change you want to make, take a piece of your old routine and modify it to honor and reflect what you want to see in your life.
In tarot, taking a trip to reset a pattern is shown in the 2 of Disks.
By default, we are creatures of habit, and patterns can be difficult to break from.
In my life, my sleeping pattern is the toughest to break, and it has always been a strange one. My natural rhythm would have me waking up sometime in the afternoon, and staying up until about 6 a.m. I have recently felt in a rut, and my way of breaking it is to change how I sleep. I have never in my life been a morning person, but for the last week I have woken up before sunrise. I hate alarm clocks, and clocks in general, and I'm not using one. I have been proud of my body, as it has naturally gotten me up between 4:30 and 5:30 every day for a week. I have been taking a nap in the afternoon, and I've been impressed at the clarity of my dreams during that time.
To reset my pattern, I put my schedule into absolute chaos for a few days, staying up as long as I could(24 plus hours). I would follow that by sleeping until I naturally woke up.
The tarot equivalent to this method would be The Chariot. Create your own chaos, so you have a reason to take control.
If we want something to change in our environment, it is important that we change something in ourselves, and in our daily routine to reflect and welcome the change that we want to see. I am trying to become a more successful Tarot reader, artist, and musician, and I have been pleased with the inspiration of the sunrise.(which had been totally foreign to me)
Taking trips or vacations is a perfect way to get your body ready for a change. As you travel, your routine is automatically thrown into chaos. Being in another surrounding also gives a new perspective, which is also fertilizer for life change. During any trip, there are multiple opportunities for letting go of harmful connections, and things at home that bog you down. Upon returning from a trip, the daily pattern will have been broken and you will see your home with a fresh perspective. Changes to your routine will be much easier to make.
Whatever change you want to make, take a piece of your old routine and modify it to honor and reflect what you want to see in your life.
In tarot, taking a trip to reset a pattern is shown in the 2 of Disks.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
The Wheel of Fortune a.k.a The swirling mass of chaos!
As a self described Elementalist, I try to have moments with the elements of nature each day. Most of my life altering realizations have come during these moments.
I like to feel the wind and watch the crows and the trees in particular. In observing, and opening myself to non verbal communication, I feel like I can glance the cycles and energy currents that I would otherwise miss.
Two days ago, I was having a moment with the crows at dusk. I've always loved to see them in full force at sunrise and sundown.
I was breathing greetings and well wishes(the best use of tobacco) at one who was observing me from an awesome tree next to our yard. With my breath, I asked the crow to show me a glimpse of the bigger energy currents, and what was coming. To be honest, I don't know what crow perception is like, so I never really have any idea if my communication means anything.
Suddenly crows were coming from every direction and meeting in what looked like a swirling tornado of crows. They would fly at each other from different directions and when they met, they would both change direction. Sometimes they would fly with the ones they met, both going in a new direction, and sometimes they continue to fly solo, but they would always change direction. There were at least a couple hundred crows doing this, and it went on for a long moment. After this display, they all flew off back to wherever the crows go at the end of the day.
Here is my interpretation :
We are in a time of chaos and what appear to be random meetings and connections. I believe it's important to be open and in the moment when these new connections are formed. They appear chaotic and random, but there is reason behind every decision and movement.
The Tarot card that would best describe this energy is The Wheel of Fortune. This card is about destiny. In these connections and meetings is the power to alter the path of our lives. This can be huge for someone looking to align themselves with their divine will, or just to change a pattern to get out of a rut. Also, destiny from chaos sounds like fun.
I like to feel the wind and watch the crows and the trees in particular. In observing, and opening myself to non verbal communication, I feel like I can glance the cycles and energy currents that I would otherwise miss.
Two days ago, I was having a moment with the crows at dusk. I've always loved to see them in full force at sunrise and sundown.
I was breathing greetings and well wishes(the best use of tobacco) at one who was observing me from an awesome tree next to our yard. With my breath, I asked the crow to show me a glimpse of the bigger energy currents, and what was coming. To be honest, I don't know what crow perception is like, so I never really have any idea if my communication means anything.
Suddenly crows were coming from every direction and meeting in what looked like a swirling tornado of crows. They would fly at each other from different directions and when they met, they would both change direction. Sometimes they would fly with the ones they met, both going in a new direction, and sometimes they continue to fly solo, but they would always change direction. There were at least a couple hundred crows doing this, and it went on for a long moment. After this display, they all flew off back to wherever the crows go at the end of the day.
Here is my interpretation :
We are in a time of chaos and what appear to be random meetings and connections. I believe it's important to be open and in the moment when these new connections are formed. They appear chaotic and random, but there is reason behind every decision and movement.
The Tarot card that would best describe this energy is The Wheel of Fortune. This card is about destiny. In these connections and meetings is the power to alter the path of our lives. This can be huge for someone looking to align themselves with their divine will, or just to change a pattern to get out of a rut. Also, destiny from chaos sounds like fun.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
New Teacher
I should preface my story with another story told to me a few days before the craziness I will recount in this blog post...
I took a trip with my friend Christoff to the residence(or at least the garage) of Ben Albers in Burnsville. There was a small gathering of people that night, and Christoff thought I would fit in well. One of the folks there was Ben Wilkins. Wilkins told me the story of a friend of his that felt like there was some kind of shadowy thing following him around. The theory was that this shadowy thing caused him bad luck and was a general source of negativity and sickness in his life. One day, one of his friends actually saw the shadowy creature(it looked like a gnome if I remember right) and told it to go away. The forceful intent worked, and the shadowy thing went away, and didn't come back.
This story was told to me 3 days or so before this event...
About 2 weeks had passed since my Reiki attunement with Collin Mackay. During these 2 weeks, I marveled like a child at everything, feeling energy fields with my hands and channeling love at every object I near me. I lived and breathed the love and respect of Reiki. I had really only worked with plants, rocks, and sticks at that point, since I was still a bit apprehensive about screwing up a person's energy with Reiki. Normally, I would observe, while Collin would administer Reiki to another person. On this day, Collin had gone to New York for a 3 day meditation retreat. Collin was gone and couldn't be contacted at all since he shut off his phone for the duration of his retreat.
My friend Mike wanted to find out more about Reiki with a treatment, and with Collin gone, I had no choice but to do it myself.
99% of my life back then happened at A Cup A Joe, and this was no exception. It was about 10pm, and the cafe had just closed for the evening, and Mike and I went down to the basement where I had been doing the bulk of my meditations and healing of inanimate objects.
I began a scan and treatment just as Collin had showed me, using my palms to feel the layers of energy, sensing the subtle differences, and smoothing out the rough spots. After a few minutes of this, I sat down and asked Mike how he felt. He said that he didn't really feel any different. He seemed to ponder something for a moment, then he told me about a "thickness" that he felt on his back. He said that it had been there for years, and that he felt it was an invisible parasitic thing. Mike is a very spiritual person, and he had been a long time yoga and meditation practitioner. He said that every time he got to a certain point in his own energy work, the "thickness" would block him from achieving his desired outcome. He said it felt like an invisible creature had settled on his back and just stayed there.
I remembered the story Wilkins told me about the shadow creature, and became inspired.
I got up and stood behind Mike, tracing the Cho Ku Rei(Reiki power symbol) with my palms. I pointed my palms at the center of his back, and pictured in my mind a shadowy creature getting fried by Reiki light.
This is when shit went crazy.
My hands literally started glowing blue. Sensing hidden energy fields and even seeing a demon wolf didn't prepare me for this. As I stood there, picturing a shadow gnome being destroyed by light, my hands started glowing! There is an amazingly awesome/awful 80's movie called "The Last Dragon." In this movie Bruce Leroy and Shonuff(the shogun of Harlem) had the power of the glow. That's exactly what happened to my hands. Somehow I was still holding the image of the shadow gnome in my mind while, internally, I was totally freaking out.
When my hands started glowing, Mike immediately sat bolt upright.
"Woah! Now that feels weird..."
I continued to keep the image of the shadow being fried by the light for a long moment. Eventually I felt like it was done. I dropped my hands, which were no longer glowing, and circled back to sit on the couch. In retrospect, I can't believe I didn't soil myself. I asked Mike how he felt. He said something was different, and he asked me to scan his back again to see if the thickness was still there.
I started a scan around 10 feet from his body, and about halfway to him, my hand ran into a blob. I couldn't see it, but I could feel it. It felt like a 3 foot ball of static electricity, and it was moving!
I made a few choice exclamations as I tried to figure out what to do.
I had been using Reiki for 2 weeks, and had no idea what to do about a phantom blob of who knows what flying around in my dear basement/bedroom.
After a few minutes, the blob went from feeling like static, to a repulsion, like 2 magnets of same polarity pushing away from each other. I still couldn't see it with my eyes, but I could feel it with my palms.
I had no theories on what to do, and Collin was unreachable, so I called Christoff, who had more experience with paranormal strangeness than I.
Christoff told me to "seal" the basement door with green energy to keep it trapped in the basement, and to hold on as he called Ben Albers.
It was about midnight when the spiritual X-Men arrived.
This group, who later became very dear to me, included Ben, his then wife Michelle, Christoff(the Asian Sensation), a crazy witch couple named Bill and Erin, and an evil hippie looking guy named Isaiah. Each of them had a wealth of paranormal experience as well as their own unique psychic talents and abilities.
I smile now when I think of how crazy I must have seemed when they got there. Thoroughly freaked out, I filled them in on the flying blob and glowing hands, and whether my "energy seal" had worked or not, the blob couldn't seem to get out of the basement.
Bill had prepared a mixture of oils and herbs, which I still refer to as goop, in a glass jar to trap the blob. Into this goop, Ben placed a coffin nail. Apparently, you could actually order coffin nails from Ebay...who knew? This seemed crazy to me, but at the time, I was not about to argue.
The group came down to the basement, and formed a large circle.
I located the blob with my palms, and by shooting it with Reiki, and the group slowly tightening the circle, we corralled the spirit to the middle, where Ben sat with the jar.
I don't know if the nail worked as a magnet, or if Ben used intention to pull the blob into the jar, but it worked. He set the jar on a table and asked me to check it out. I scanned the jar, and sure enough, the weird repelling energy was there. The blob was considerably bigger than the jar, but it couldn't seem to move away. It was trapped by a jar of goop and a coffin nail.
Bill released the blob thing outside later that night. Ben showed me how to get rid of the residual energy in the basement by using salt. This was when I decided I could learn something from him...
The crisis was averted, and the next day, A Cup A Joe was open without marauding shadow creatures, or parasitic flying blobs.
Shortly after this, Ben became a trusted friend and teacher of the shadowy side of energy and intent.
We still don't really know what the blob was. It could have been a spirit, human or otherwise. I have since seen shadow creatures, and I don't think it was one of those, mainly because it was invisible. Whatever it was, it was definitely parasitic and big, and apparently extremely vulnerable to Reiki and coffin nails.
I still study with Ben, and he still blows my mind with his wealth of occult knowledge.
I took a trip with my friend Christoff to the residence(or at least the garage) of Ben Albers in Burnsville. There was a small gathering of people that night, and Christoff thought I would fit in well. One of the folks there was Ben Wilkins. Wilkins told me the story of a friend of his that felt like there was some kind of shadowy thing following him around. The theory was that this shadowy thing caused him bad luck and was a general source of negativity and sickness in his life. One day, one of his friends actually saw the shadowy creature(it looked like a gnome if I remember right) and told it to go away. The forceful intent worked, and the shadowy thing went away, and didn't come back.
This story was told to me 3 days or so before this event...
About 2 weeks had passed since my Reiki attunement with Collin Mackay. During these 2 weeks, I marveled like a child at everything, feeling energy fields with my hands and channeling love at every object I near me. I lived and breathed the love and respect of Reiki. I had really only worked with plants, rocks, and sticks at that point, since I was still a bit apprehensive about screwing up a person's energy with Reiki. Normally, I would observe, while Collin would administer Reiki to another person. On this day, Collin had gone to New York for a 3 day meditation retreat. Collin was gone and couldn't be contacted at all since he shut off his phone for the duration of his retreat.
My friend Mike wanted to find out more about Reiki with a treatment, and with Collin gone, I had no choice but to do it myself.
99% of my life back then happened at A Cup A Joe, and this was no exception. It was about 10pm, and the cafe had just closed for the evening, and Mike and I went down to the basement where I had been doing the bulk of my meditations and healing of inanimate objects.
I began a scan and treatment just as Collin had showed me, using my palms to feel the layers of energy, sensing the subtle differences, and smoothing out the rough spots. After a few minutes of this, I sat down and asked Mike how he felt. He said that he didn't really feel any different. He seemed to ponder something for a moment, then he told me about a "thickness" that he felt on his back. He said that it had been there for years, and that he felt it was an invisible parasitic thing. Mike is a very spiritual person, and he had been a long time yoga and meditation practitioner. He said that every time he got to a certain point in his own energy work, the "thickness" would block him from achieving his desired outcome. He said it felt like an invisible creature had settled on his back and just stayed there.
I remembered the story Wilkins told me about the shadow creature, and became inspired.
I got up and stood behind Mike, tracing the Cho Ku Rei(Reiki power symbol) with my palms. I pointed my palms at the center of his back, and pictured in my mind a shadowy creature getting fried by Reiki light.
This is when shit went crazy.
My hands literally started glowing blue. Sensing hidden energy fields and even seeing a demon wolf didn't prepare me for this. As I stood there, picturing a shadow gnome being destroyed by light, my hands started glowing! There is an amazingly awesome/awful 80's movie called "The Last Dragon." In this movie Bruce Leroy and Shonuff(the shogun of Harlem) had the power of the glow. That's exactly what happened to my hands. Somehow I was still holding the image of the shadow gnome in my mind while, internally, I was totally freaking out.
When my hands started glowing, Mike immediately sat bolt upright.
"Woah! Now that feels weird..."
I continued to keep the image of the shadow being fried by the light for a long moment. Eventually I felt like it was done. I dropped my hands, which were no longer glowing, and circled back to sit on the couch. In retrospect, I can't believe I didn't soil myself. I asked Mike how he felt. He said something was different, and he asked me to scan his back again to see if the thickness was still there.
I started a scan around 10 feet from his body, and about halfway to him, my hand ran into a blob. I couldn't see it, but I could feel it. It felt like a 3 foot ball of static electricity, and it was moving!
I made a few choice exclamations as I tried to figure out what to do.
I had been using Reiki for 2 weeks, and had no idea what to do about a phantom blob of who knows what flying around in my dear basement/bedroom.
After a few minutes, the blob went from feeling like static, to a repulsion, like 2 magnets of same polarity pushing away from each other. I still couldn't see it with my eyes, but I could feel it with my palms.
I had no theories on what to do, and Collin was unreachable, so I called Christoff, who had more experience with paranormal strangeness than I.
Christoff told me to "seal" the basement door with green energy to keep it trapped in the basement, and to hold on as he called Ben Albers.
It was about midnight when the spiritual X-Men arrived.
This group, who later became very dear to me, included Ben, his then wife Michelle, Christoff(the Asian Sensation), a crazy witch couple named Bill and Erin, and an evil hippie looking guy named Isaiah. Each of them had a wealth of paranormal experience as well as their own unique psychic talents and abilities.
I smile now when I think of how crazy I must have seemed when they got there. Thoroughly freaked out, I filled them in on the flying blob and glowing hands, and whether my "energy seal" had worked or not, the blob couldn't seem to get out of the basement.
Bill had prepared a mixture of oils and herbs, which I still refer to as goop, in a glass jar to trap the blob. Into this goop, Ben placed a coffin nail. Apparently, you could actually order coffin nails from Ebay...who knew? This seemed crazy to me, but at the time, I was not about to argue.
The group came down to the basement, and formed a large circle.
I located the blob with my palms, and by shooting it with Reiki, and the group slowly tightening the circle, we corralled the spirit to the middle, where Ben sat with the jar.
I don't know if the nail worked as a magnet, or if Ben used intention to pull the blob into the jar, but it worked. He set the jar on a table and asked me to check it out. I scanned the jar, and sure enough, the weird repelling energy was there. The blob was considerably bigger than the jar, but it couldn't seem to move away. It was trapped by a jar of goop and a coffin nail.
Bill released the blob thing outside later that night. Ben showed me how to get rid of the residual energy in the basement by using salt. This was when I decided I could learn something from him...
The crisis was averted, and the next day, A Cup A Joe was open without marauding shadow creatures, or parasitic flying blobs.
Shortly after this, Ben became a trusted friend and teacher of the shadowy side of energy and intent.
We still don't really know what the blob was. It could have been a spirit, human or otherwise. I have since seen shadow creatures, and I don't think it was one of those, mainly because it was invisible. Whatever it was, it was definitely parasitic and big, and apparently extremely vulnerable to Reiki and coffin nails.
I still study with Ben, and he still blows my mind with his wealth of occult knowledge.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Reiki
The summer of 2009... This was a very good time for me, and because of it, my life was forever changed. I was working at A Cup A Joe, which was a little coffee shop in south Minneapolis. We had fun, but never made any money. Because of this, at the time I was sleeping on a couch in the basement of the cafe.
We had open mic nights on Tuesdays. These brought together the diversity of south Minneapolis, and our events were loaded with interesting characters. One of these aforementioned characters was Collin Mackay.
Collin had come into town from upstate New York, and had applied for a job as a massage therapist at the massage house around the corner from the cafe. He wasn't a good fit for the massage parlor, and the woman who ran it recommended that he come to A Cup A Joe and ask about doing massage at our events. We were thrilled to get a massage therapist at our shop, so it was a done deal.
Collin is hard to describe. Tallish(yes, tallish) and thin with long, wispy blonde hair, he appears to be a classic Lord of the Rings style elf. He has an otherworldly purity and beauty about him that puts some at ease, and makes others nervous. I would not be surprised if he were actually from Lothlorien.
As I got to know Collin, he mentioned that he was a Reiki healer. I had no idea what that meant, but I was interested in energy work, and Reiki sounded cool. One day Collin asked me if I would like to experience Reiki for myself, and I jumped at the chance. We agreed to meet the next afternoon in Powderhorn Park, a peaceful park not far from the cafe.
The day was Tuesday, August 4th, 2 days after my birthday. After a short and rather frightening ride in Collin's Jetta, we found a secluded, stone bench in the park.(Collin's driving style is another story completely)
I sat down on the bench, and Collin showed me some breathing and grounding techniques to help me relax. He told me to put my palms together in front of my heart in a position I had seen on countless Hindu and Buddhist statues and depictions. Eyes closed...gentle, timed breathing in a classic position of prayer. I could have remained there in silent meditation forever, as my body and mind reacted very well to the simple act of sitting in that position.
After a bit, I could feel Collin's presence as he stood behind me, and he began whispering in a language I couldn't understand. I briefly opened my eyes as he took my hands, and still whispering, used his fingers to trace symbols in the air above my palms. I closed my eyes again, and after a moment, it was done.
He followed by showing me some self treatment techniques. The first self treatment he showed me was to place my palms in front of my forehead and let the energy flow. I closed my eyes and did as instructed, and after a second or so, there was a lightning flash. I took my hands down and looked around for the stormclouds that caused the lightning. There was no storm, and the afternoon was as beautiful as it was when we got to the park.
"What the Hell was that?!?!"
Collin said nothing, but gave me a patient smile.
I put my palms back in front of my forehead, and again there was a flash. This cycle repeated for several minutes... I would put my palms in front of my forehead, see a flash, and each time I would look around for lightning. Collin was thoroughly amused.
Collin recommended that, in the coming days, I use my palms to share energy with trees and plants. We concluded our session in the park, and feeling energized and strong, we went back to the cafe.
I really have no recollection of the open mic that night, but I assume that I played. When everyone had left, and I had the place cleaned up I retired to the couch in the basement. Someone had gifted me a Dieffenbachia houseplant earlier in the summer, and remembering Collin's words, I placed my palms above it. I didn't know what I was doing, or what was supposed to happen, but as soon as my hands were above the leaves, my palms started sweating. The heat I felt on my hands completely freaked me out. My beloved Dieffenbachia(Greenface) felt like a campfire. I must have sat for an hour, marveling over the energy exchange and literally warming my hands over the houseplant.
I spent another hour "scanning" every object in the cafe. I could feel the energy around every single item I scanned! Tables, chairs, knives, cups, everything! I eventually went into the parking lot for a smoke. The moon was full that night, I stepped from the shadow of the cafe into full moonlight... It was a warm summer night, and in my t-shirt and shorts, every bit of my exposed skin tingled. It felt like the moonlight was electric, and the thrill that went through my body in the light of the full moon was beyond description. I don't remember if I shouted, but I must have. I started moving my body with what seem to have been Tai Chi motions, but I didn't and still don't know Tai Chi. I'm not sure how long it went on, it must have been hours, but I didn't want my experience with the moonlight to end.
At this time I was convinced that Collin was an alien. How could any human cause what was happening to me? I know I didn't sleep that night, and I remember opening the cafe at 8am. I was unable to communicate what had happened to me, and also completely unable to carry on a normal conversation. Two of our regulars came in that morning, and I still feel bad for Bonnie and Pete for having to listen to the apparently insane barista.
That afternoon/evening was the beginning of my life with Reiki. Over the next couple of weeks I began to not only feel, but see the energy surrounding everything.
For the next 2 weeks, I was afraid to use Reiki on anything but my beloved plant Greenface. The first time I used Reiki on a human spurred the meeting with my other teacher, Ben Albers. My recently shattered perception was about to shatter again...
We had open mic nights on Tuesdays. These brought together the diversity of south Minneapolis, and our events were loaded with interesting characters. One of these aforementioned characters was Collin Mackay.
Collin had come into town from upstate New York, and had applied for a job as a massage therapist at the massage house around the corner from the cafe. He wasn't a good fit for the massage parlor, and the woman who ran it recommended that he come to A Cup A Joe and ask about doing massage at our events. We were thrilled to get a massage therapist at our shop, so it was a done deal.
Collin is hard to describe. Tallish(yes, tallish) and thin with long, wispy blonde hair, he appears to be a classic Lord of the Rings style elf. He has an otherworldly purity and beauty about him that puts some at ease, and makes others nervous. I would not be surprised if he were actually from Lothlorien.
As I got to know Collin, he mentioned that he was a Reiki healer. I had no idea what that meant, but I was interested in energy work, and Reiki sounded cool. One day Collin asked me if I would like to experience Reiki for myself, and I jumped at the chance. We agreed to meet the next afternoon in Powderhorn Park, a peaceful park not far from the cafe.
The day was Tuesday, August 4th, 2 days after my birthday. After a short and rather frightening ride in Collin's Jetta, we found a secluded, stone bench in the park.(Collin's driving style is another story completely)
I sat down on the bench, and Collin showed me some breathing and grounding techniques to help me relax. He told me to put my palms together in front of my heart in a position I had seen on countless Hindu and Buddhist statues and depictions. Eyes closed...gentle, timed breathing in a classic position of prayer. I could have remained there in silent meditation forever, as my body and mind reacted very well to the simple act of sitting in that position.
After a bit, I could feel Collin's presence as he stood behind me, and he began whispering in a language I couldn't understand. I briefly opened my eyes as he took my hands, and still whispering, used his fingers to trace symbols in the air above my palms. I closed my eyes again, and after a moment, it was done.
He followed by showing me some self treatment techniques. The first self treatment he showed me was to place my palms in front of my forehead and let the energy flow. I closed my eyes and did as instructed, and after a second or so, there was a lightning flash. I took my hands down and looked around for the stormclouds that caused the lightning. There was no storm, and the afternoon was as beautiful as it was when we got to the park.
"What the Hell was that?!?!"
Collin said nothing, but gave me a patient smile.
I put my palms back in front of my forehead, and again there was a flash. This cycle repeated for several minutes... I would put my palms in front of my forehead, see a flash, and each time I would look around for lightning. Collin was thoroughly amused.
Collin recommended that, in the coming days, I use my palms to share energy with trees and plants. We concluded our session in the park, and feeling energized and strong, we went back to the cafe.
I really have no recollection of the open mic that night, but I assume that I played. When everyone had left, and I had the place cleaned up I retired to the couch in the basement. Someone had gifted me a Dieffenbachia houseplant earlier in the summer, and remembering Collin's words, I placed my palms above it. I didn't know what I was doing, or what was supposed to happen, but as soon as my hands were above the leaves, my palms started sweating. The heat I felt on my hands completely freaked me out. My beloved Dieffenbachia(Greenface) felt like a campfire. I must have sat for an hour, marveling over the energy exchange and literally warming my hands over the houseplant.
I spent another hour "scanning" every object in the cafe. I could feel the energy around every single item I scanned! Tables, chairs, knives, cups, everything! I eventually went into the parking lot for a smoke. The moon was full that night, I stepped from the shadow of the cafe into full moonlight... It was a warm summer night, and in my t-shirt and shorts, every bit of my exposed skin tingled. It felt like the moonlight was electric, and the thrill that went through my body in the light of the full moon was beyond description. I don't remember if I shouted, but I must have. I started moving my body with what seem to have been Tai Chi motions, but I didn't and still don't know Tai Chi. I'm not sure how long it went on, it must have been hours, but I didn't want my experience with the moonlight to end.
At this time I was convinced that Collin was an alien. How could any human cause what was happening to me? I know I didn't sleep that night, and I remember opening the cafe at 8am. I was unable to communicate what had happened to me, and also completely unable to carry on a normal conversation. Two of our regulars came in that morning, and I still feel bad for Bonnie and Pete for having to listen to the apparently insane barista.
That afternoon/evening was the beginning of my life with Reiki. Over the next couple of weeks I began to not only feel, but see the energy surrounding everything.
For the next 2 weeks, I was afraid to use Reiki on anything but my beloved plant Greenface. The first time I used Reiki on a human spurred the meeting with my other teacher, Ben Albers. My recently shattered perception was about to shatter again...
Monday, November 26, 2012
The Black Shuck
I suppose this is a good story with which to start my blog. This encounter happened in 2002, when I was a militant atheist. It changed my beliefs and very much put my life on the path I am on today.
I was driving up to Hibbing to see my father who had been diagnosed with cancer. I was coming from Minneapolis and had just passed Hinckley at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I was cruising along in the left lane at about 70mph when, in the distance, I saw a black bear coming out of the ditch and onto the left shoulder of the freeway. I didn't want to hit the bear, so I slowed down to about 40mph and moved into the right lane.
As I got closer, I realized that it wasn't a bear, it was the biggest wolf I've ever seen. I grew up in the woods of Northern Minnesota, and I'd seen wolves and bears my whole life. I had never seen, or even heard of anything like this.
The wolf was black and it's fur was shaggy and unkempt. It was easily twice the size of the biggest timberwolf I'd seen.(my guess is 5 feet to the top of it's head) As I got closer to the wolf, I could see it was baring it's teeth in a snarl and as I passed, it was looking directly into my eyes. This was the craziest part, as the eyes of the wolf were an unnatural red. I'm not sure if I would say that they were glowing, but it was in full daylight, and the eyes could not be missed. The way it was looking into my eyes, and not across the road, or at my car frightened me more than the fact that it was a giant, red eyed wolf, and I got the distinct impression that it knew who I was.
In the Dragonlance books that I've read, they talk about dragonfear. It's basically a spell cast by dragons to put fear into all those who see them. Dragonfear is the best way to describe what happened when my eyes met with the wolf's.
Totally freaked out, I hammered on the gas and locked my car doors. This didn't really make sense when dealing with a wolf, but this was not a normal wolf, and I was pretty sure if it wanted me dead it could have killed me. As I sped away(accelerating to around 95) it remained where it was, it didn't even follow me with it's head. When I looked in the rear view mirror, it was looking across the freeway, and not at me.
I don't know what or who the wolf was looking for that day, but I damn sure didn't stick around to find out.
Seeing this creature sent me into years of research about werewolves, since I was sure the stories of werewolves came from people seeing giant, evil, red eyed wolves. The research led me into reading about animal transformation rituals and witchcraft; of astral projection and psychic doubles. I read about many things I would have considered ridiculous if I hadn't seen a Hellhound with my own eyes.
All of this reading prepared me for 2009, when I met Collin Mackay. Collin told me about Reiki energy healing and the power of universal love and focus energy. He asked me if I would like to learn to use Reiki(magick healing), and I jumped at the chance. At the same time, I met Ben Albers, who offered to teach me about ritual magick, and the shadowy side of love and focus. Again, I jumped at the chance.
My newfound teachers shattered my perception of the universe on a daily basis, and I wouldn't have been open to it if I hadn't seen a demon wolf years before. As such, I am eternally grateful to both my teachers and the wolf for making my current life possible.
After years of delving, I believe this was what they call in England, a Black Shuck. They have been spotted all around the world for centuries, taking different animal forms in different countries. They all have the common thread of black, shaggy fur and red glowing eyes. In England and Ireland, they usually take the form of a wolfhound or some sort of dog.(Cu Sith in Ireland) In Mexico, they are a coyote called a cadejo. In Japan they take the form of a fox called a tanuki. There have been stories in India of black, shaggy, red eyed elephants. Apparently, in Northern Minnesota, they take the form of a wolf.
To the best of my knowledge, these creatures are not from this plane, and I believe they are summoned from someplace...less sunny. Hellhound pretty much describes what I encountered that day.
In a bizarre way, the Black Shuck, or Hellhound, paved my way to learning new levels of love and respect for all parts of the great universe.
Namaste.
I was driving up to Hibbing to see my father who had been diagnosed with cancer. I was coming from Minneapolis and had just passed Hinckley at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I was cruising along in the left lane at about 70mph when, in the distance, I saw a black bear coming out of the ditch and onto the left shoulder of the freeway. I didn't want to hit the bear, so I slowed down to about 40mph and moved into the right lane.
As I got closer, I realized that it wasn't a bear, it was the biggest wolf I've ever seen. I grew up in the woods of Northern Minnesota, and I'd seen wolves and bears my whole life. I had never seen, or even heard of anything like this.
The wolf was black and it's fur was shaggy and unkempt. It was easily twice the size of the biggest timberwolf I'd seen.(my guess is 5 feet to the top of it's head) As I got closer to the wolf, I could see it was baring it's teeth in a snarl and as I passed, it was looking directly into my eyes. This was the craziest part, as the eyes of the wolf were an unnatural red. I'm not sure if I would say that they were glowing, but it was in full daylight, and the eyes could not be missed. The way it was looking into my eyes, and not across the road, or at my car frightened me more than the fact that it was a giant, red eyed wolf, and I got the distinct impression that it knew who I was.
In the Dragonlance books that I've read, they talk about dragonfear. It's basically a spell cast by dragons to put fear into all those who see them. Dragonfear is the best way to describe what happened when my eyes met with the wolf's.
Totally freaked out, I hammered on the gas and locked my car doors. This didn't really make sense when dealing with a wolf, but this was not a normal wolf, and I was pretty sure if it wanted me dead it could have killed me. As I sped away(accelerating to around 95) it remained where it was, it didn't even follow me with it's head. When I looked in the rear view mirror, it was looking across the freeway, and not at me.
I don't know what or who the wolf was looking for that day, but I damn sure didn't stick around to find out.
Seeing this creature sent me into years of research about werewolves, since I was sure the stories of werewolves came from people seeing giant, evil, red eyed wolves. The research led me into reading about animal transformation rituals and witchcraft; of astral projection and psychic doubles. I read about many things I would have considered ridiculous if I hadn't seen a Hellhound with my own eyes.
All of this reading prepared me for 2009, when I met Collin Mackay. Collin told me about Reiki energy healing and the power of universal love and focus energy. He asked me if I would like to learn to use Reiki(magick healing), and I jumped at the chance. At the same time, I met Ben Albers, who offered to teach me about ritual magick, and the shadowy side of love and focus. Again, I jumped at the chance.
My newfound teachers shattered my perception of the universe on a daily basis, and I wouldn't have been open to it if I hadn't seen a demon wolf years before. As such, I am eternally grateful to both my teachers and the wolf for making my current life possible.
After years of delving, I believe this was what they call in England, a Black Shuck. They have been spotted all around the world for centuries, taking different animal forms in different countries. They all have the common thread of black, shaggy fur and red glowing eyes. In England and Ireland, they usually take the form of a wolfhound or some sort of dog.(Cu Sith in Ireland) In Mexico, they are a coyote called a cadejo. In Japan they take the form of a fox called a tanuki. There have been stories in India of black, shaggy, red eyed elephants. Apparently, in Northern Minnesota, they take the form of a wolf.
To the best of my knowledge, these creatures are not from this plane, and I believe they are summoned from someplace...less sunny. Hellhound pretty much describes what I encountered that day.
In a bizarre way, the Black Shuck, or Hellhound, paved my way to learning new levels of love and respect for all parts of the great universe.
Namaste.
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