Hell

 I would like to share my understanding of the vibration we have come to call Hell. I will also share my experience that led to this understanding, since before these experiences, all I had to go by was what I picked up from movies, and vague references made by my grandmother.

 From what I currently understand, Hell is a place where people go after death(and sometimes before) to learn something they didn't get to learn during their life on Earth. I believe that Hell is as big and diverse as this universe. Some parts are nice, some are not.
 When large groups of people have the same lesson to learn, or are going through the same thing, their spirits collect. This is a basic energy principle, commonly expressed as 'like attracts like.' It is this collection of consciousness that gives Hell form and stability. Honestly, I believe Earth works in a similar fashion.
 Because of this, and the range of lessons we learn, Hell is a very diverse place. In my reckoning, it's not necessarily a bad place, but it's definitely a bad place to get lost.
 In my experience, a spirit's time in Hell is NOT eternal. Spirits go there to learn something. Once that lesson is learned, they go to a different place to learn and experience something else. That said, I'm not sure how the perception of time works there, but I believe it's different than the linear perception we have on this world.

 The vast majority of my experience and current understanding of  Hell came to me through a series of intense dreams and meditations. One of my dearest, truest friends had died of pancreatic cancer when he was 38 years old. When we were younger, I had repeatedly stated how I would do anything for my friends. "I would follow you to the depths of Hell", was something I remember saying to all of my close friends, usually with a bottle of malt liquor in my hand. In retrospect, that was the ultimate fool's boast, spoken out of both ignorance and love. I had no idea at the time, that it could, and would come true...

 About a month after my friend died, I dreamed of being a dishwasher at a restaurant that I worked at between the ages of 12 and 16. In the dream, I was in my 30's and still there. I remember feeling how pointless life was, and I turned away from the sink full of dishes, held my hands up to my face, and one by one I began biting off my fingers. Without pain or blood, I bit through the bone and spit my fingers out onto the floor. When I only had 2 fingers left, I realized that I wouldn't be able to play the saxophone or the guitar. I realized how I had just destroyed my potential and regret washed over me. With this feeling of regret, I woke up. The dream was very intense, and I sat there on the couch I was sleeping on at the time. After a moment of confused contemplation, I went back to sleep.

 When I began dreaming again, that's when I met my dear friend. He was taller, and more beautiful than when he was here on earth. I think it was what he would have looked like if he was untouched by disease.
 We met in a room that was full of beautiful young women. The women were chained at the wrist and shackled to a ceiling that I couldn't see. They were mostly naked, but they had transparent veils draped around their waists. It was understood that they were there specifically so people walking through the room could have their way with them. They all looked about the same, without any specific personality of their own. All of them that I saw were fair skinned with long black hair. The interesting thing was, they didn't seem to care what was happening to them. My friend was standing amongst them, unshackled, and normally clothed. (I believe he was wearing a cape)
 I knew that place was Hell.
 My friend acknowledged my presence. It strikes me as odd now, how there wasn't a moment of joy, or any sort of embrace at seeing him.

 I said to him, "You're in Hell."
Without shame, he shrugged as if to say "It is what it is... this is where I am."
 It should be noted that I remember saying words to him, and hearing my own voice, but I don't remember ever hearing his voice. His communication was unspoken, but totally understood. The whole place worked like that. Without specifically hearing anyone explain things, I just knew what was happening. I didn't stay in that room for long, and my friend didn't follow. That room seemed to be a place of apathy, not suffering. I suppose it could be argued that apathy is suffering, but I will continue my story. What happened next leads me to saying that Hell is a bad place to get lost.

 I walked out of that room and began exploring what appeared to be a gigantic mental institution. I don't know how big it really was, but it was basically a world unto itself, and it was made of absolute madness and chaos. I understood that I was in an asylum run by the inmates. Normal rules did not apply here, and the chain of command was of ultimate corruption. In this place, child molesters were put in charge of children, and any that would abuse power were given that power.
 There were little uniformed 'security guards' with batons and helmets. They wore grey jumpsuits and shiny black helmets with shaded visors, so their faces were obscured. The guards were really bullies that picked people out, ganged up on them, and relentlessly beat them. I watched as they picked a woman, dressed in a hospital gown as she walked down a hallway. They surrounded her and started beating her with their batons. This went on for a long moment. Suddenly the woman grew, and transformed into a giant, 15 or 20 feet tall. The guards now fit easily into her hands, and one by one, she grabbed them and bit off the tops of their heads, helmets and all. She would spit out the top of the skull, leaving an exposed half head, and throw the body down the hall.
 At this point, the vibration got too intense for me, and I woke up.

 I've contemplated this dream for about a year now. What really strikes me about this vibration, is that as soon as I cared about something, I was transported out. I believe I was there to show my friend how to move on. All he had to do was care.
 As far as the chaotic mental hospital goes, that must have been a place for people who abused power in life, and maybe for people who allowed themselves to be abused, to play out extreme scenarios until they cared about either their victims or their tormentors. Nothing is eternal, and I believe all of the spirits in that place figure it out eventually...

 I've met my friend in his pure form 3 times in dreams, and he's been in a different place every time. In one dream, we fought each other in my old high school.(a true representation of Hell)
 The last time we met, he showed me that what really holds me back in life is that I'm afraid of success. In the dream, he literally taught me to fly.

 This all leads me to believe that the places we go after death are constantly changing, depending on what we have figured out about ourselves. I also believe that eventually we work our way back here to Earth to live and die again. If so, I hope my friend and I meet again in another life, and hopefully, we can retain what we learned this time.

The Chariot and the Two of Disks : Breaking the routine

  Sometimes, when we feel stuck in life, the most powerful thing we can do is change our daily routine.
By default, we are creatures of habit, and patterns can be difficult to break from.

 In my life, my sleeping pattern is the toughest to break, and it has always been a strange one. My natural rhythm would have me waking up sometime in the afternoon, and staying up until about 6 a.m. I have recently felt in a rut, and my way of breaking it is to change how I sleep. I have never in my life been a morning person, but for the last week I have woken up before sunrise. I hate alarm clocks, and clocks in general, and I'm not using one. I have been proud of my body, as it has naturally gotten me up between 4:30 and 5:30 every day for a week. I have been taking a nap in the afternoon, and I've been impressed at the clarity of my dreams during that time.
 To reset my pattern, I put my schedule into absolute chaos for a few days, staying up as long as I could(24 plus hours). I would follow that by sleeping until I naturally woke up.
 The tarot equivalent to this method would be The Chariot. Create your own chaos, so you have a reason to take control.  

 If we want something to change in our environment, it is important that we change something in ourselves, and in our daily routine to reflect and welcome the change that we want to see. I am trying to become a more successful Tarot reader, artist, and musician, and I have been pleased with the inspiration of the sunrise.(which had been totally foreign to me)

 Taking trips or vacations is a perfect way to get your body ready for a change. As you travel, your routine is automatically thrown into chaos. Being in another surrounding also gives a new perspective, which is also fertilizer for life change. During any trip, there are multiple opportunities for letting go of harmful connections, and things at home that bog you down. Upon returning from a trip, the daily pattern will have been broken and you will see your home with a fresh perspective. Changes to your routine will be much easier to make.
 Whatever change you want to make, take a piece of your old routine and modify it to honor and reflect what you want to see in your life.
 In tarot, taking a trip to reset a pattern is shown in the 2 of Disks.