The Phoenix

 I am writing this post to honor goddess day, and also to further share my experiences with the Elemental Spirits. I am an Elementalist, and an animist. I believe in all deities, but I don't worship any of them.

 My spiritual path is that of an Elemental Priest of Wind. For an Elementalist, there is no book and there is no church. There are, however, the Elemental Spirits to inspire and guide us as we unravel the mystery of what this world is, and why we're here. This path is largely intuitive, and at around a year into my path, with no structure to compare myself to, I was worried that I wasn't good enough... that I wasn't progressing fast enough.
 At this particular point in my life, I was also financially struggling, and had virtually no material stability at all. I was only sustained by the love, generosity, and patience of my friends, and my ability to use my guitar to make money on the sidewalk. This set of circumstances led to deep cycles of depression and self loathing, as I felt like an anchor and a hindrance to those who loved me.

 I've made my initial contact with the Elemental Spirits through mirror rituals, and was spending some time in a mirror meditation while focusing on the specific spirit of the Phoenix. As in the traditional perception of The Phoenix, this spirit teaches about healing, rejuvenation, and rebirth.
 I remember the doubt and uncertainty that I was going through at the time, and in this meditation, I really needed some validation of my progress, and I asked Phoenix if I was doing well. In all of the rituals I had done, this was unique, but instead of looking into it, I was immediately compelled to place the mirror above my head, at my high crown chakra. I did so, and my crown chakra opened... I suppose like a flower. The energy that came through the mirror and into my body was perhaps the strongest that I've ever felt. It came in through the top of my head, and made my entire body hum. The distinct impression that I got was that the great goddess, or the great mother of creation, was holding me in her hand, looking at me in awe. The great goddess was in awe of me. There truly are no words to describe what that felt like. The energy was so humbling and powerful that I cried. For 5 or 10 minutes, I sat with the mirror over my head, crying like a baby as the most powerful, unconditional love ran through me like a river and washed away my doubt.    Afterwards,I no longer doubted myself, and truly felt like a new person. This was the most emotionally healing energy that I've ever felt, and one of the most profound experiences of my life.

 Later on, I was speaking of The Phoenix with a co-worker, and she mentioned that The Phoenix is know for it's healing tears. I had not heard about that aspect of The Phoenix before, but it made so much sense to me in retrospect.

 Although I had never attached any masculine or feminine energy to it before that experience, now when I think of feminine divine, and goddess energy, I always think of The Phoenix.